Mystery Diagnosis

Huh... where do I even begin.

A couple of months ago I found myself at my wits-end with several things that I have been dealing with for the last 7 years. The main thing being the excessive weight gain I have had, and the other being the pain that I have had in my legs from the knee down that has become severely worse in the last year. I thought that my knees had been hurting from the extra weight, and I just couldn't take it any more. I kept thinking that if I didn't do something about it I would have a soon future of knee surgeries, that is how much pain I was in. I never complained or talked about it much because why would you if you thought it was due to you being a fatty. So I signed up for a fool proof solution to my problems, a six week military style boot-camp called Bootcamp with Jess.

This was it, I was going to loss this extra weight once and for all. I was going to do it so that I could hopefully get pregnant next summer, and have a better chance of not having a heart-attack or stroke which I came so close to having with Jayna due to the severe preeclampsia condition I get while pregnant. So needles to say I was very committed to doing the program since I was doing it for more reasons than just looking good in a bathing-suit. The bootcamp was no freakn' joke. I had to wear a 30 pound weight vest for the first week which was "hell week". If I wasn't running on the treadmill I was running to a station to do weights, or I was doing pushups. I had to sing songs about killing babies and crushing little birds heads while I ran my guts out around the parking lot. I think I cried 4 out of the 5 morning while I drove home that first week. I could not even lift my arms after the first three days and no amount of ibuprofen would ease the pain. Ryan even had to wash and blow-dry my hair one of the mornings, which I guess was common since one of the other girls told me her husband had to do her hair her first week of the program too. I stuck to it though. I cut out all dairy, carbs, sugars, sodas, you name it it was cut out. I was eating salads and salads. I probably took in no more than 800 calories a day. The last week of hell week all the different locations meet together at a high-school track to do bleachers for an hour. Weight vest and all I hurled myself up and down the bleachers doing the best I could. I could not have done worse unless I had quit. Glad that my first week was over and done with I went home to weigh myself and see exactly what that week of hard work had done for me. That is when my world kinda turned upside down. I had weighed my self on Sunday night the night before I had started hell week, and when I stepped on the scale only 5 days later I had gained an entire 10 pounds. Ryan was shocked, and lets say I was less than encouraged. Still I stuck with it, I continued with the diet, I went every morning at 6:00 to workout. By week 5 my instructor finally started to notice what I had figured out weeks before. I had not lost a single pound! Not only that, my legs hurt so bad I could no longer run on the treadmill and was having to modify more and more of the workouts due to the pain in my legs. By the end of the program all I had done was work off the 10 pounds I had gained in the first 5 days of working out, and now I was practically a cripple.

Through the whole thing Ryan and I kept talking about things and going over problems I have had in the past 7 years or so, and all the sudden the puzzle pieces started coming together. Something was wrong. What if all these problems I have been having are all connected and are not separate things happening in my body like doctors have been telling me, but are symptoms for something bigger. I have had Pharisees, my hair has been falling out, I have leg pains, weight gain, headaches, miscarriage, dry skin, depression, intolerance to heat, and lack of energy. I called my mom to tell her what had happened and the first thing she said was "you have a thyroid problem". Why had I never connected these dots before? The doctors always had some simple and quick answer for everything. You need to be more active, you just had a baby, you are just stressed, this is normal.

My mom has suffered with thyroid problems for years now, and was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease some years back when I was a teenager. We looked up the symptoms for it and I had 10 out of 10 of the symptoms. It was overwhelming. it is the biggest double edged sword to know that you are not having these weight and pain problems because you are just a lazy pig (like I have thought for the past 7 years), but on the other had if it was just you, that is a lot more manageable and fixable then a disease. I made an appointment to see a doctor, Ryan and I sat down and wrote out my medical history and did some research on the disease and prepared our case to present to the doctor. I was no longer going to be satisfied with a quick simple solution to my problems.

We went to the doctors, we told him of the family history and all the symptoms I had been experiencing for years, and I basically cried and begged and told him I could no longer live this way, and that I was unwilling to live my 30's like I had lived my 20's. He sat there until Ryan and I had exhausted every point we had to make and then he told me that I should take more fish oil for my hair and more vitamin D for my depression, and that there could be several reasons why I gained 10 pounds in 5 days. My thoughts about what he said are... so you are telling me everyone who does not take fish oils hair fall out... you will fix my depression , but I just have to live with the severe pain in my legs... and I would sure like to talk to the 5 other people who have told you they went on an intense workout program and diet and gained weight. It was a joke, but I refused to leave until he gave me the prescriptions I wanted and agreed to test me for thyroid problems and Hashimoto's disease. Oh, and the weirdest thing about all of this was that the night before I went to the Dr.'s we were watching mystery diagnosis and it was like watching my life on t.v., and it ended up being Hashimoto's disease. I just sat there crying, and all Ryan could say was "that is you". It was just one more thing that confirmed what was happening to me was real I was not just making all these things up. The prescription I got did not do me much good though because the medicine I need is on a world wide shortage right now, so there are waiting lists at every pharmacy, my mom cannot even get hers. Lovely timing I know. So I started on an alternative medicine and waited for my blood tests to come back. Now I have had my blood tested many times before all of which have come back normal, so he said he would do a different test this time. After waiting forever and not hearing anything I finally called the doctors office and they said it had been in for awhile and they didn't know why I didn't get a call. It showed that I do have a bad Thyroid problem, but they said I did not have Hashimoto's. I forgot to ask what kind of test they did to determine I did not have the Hashimoto's. Knowing what test is important because after talking more to my mom and researching things online I found out that there are two different tests and sometimes you can show up on one and not the other.

Hashimoto's disease is basically your body producing antibodies to attack what is trying to get to your thyroid, so the hormones that fuel your thyroid are not making it there for your thyroid to use, and since your thyroid controls just about every function in your body that is why the symptoms are so weird and vast and continue to get worse and worse. My mom did not have her Hashimoto's show up until she was pretty much bedridden with symptoms. So I am not willing to wait until it gets to that point for me. I will just continue to go to different doctors until I find someone who is going to treat the problem and not just my symptoms. I have read tons of similar stories online just like mine, and all though it is very overwhelming to see your life's miseries mirrored in someone else's story it is just as excitingly overwhelming to hear of how they fought to be an advocate for their own health and got their lives back by not giving up and demanding a solution.

My first step is going to be to get a new doctor, and my second step is going to be to try and get this medicine that I desperately need, and my third step is to get my life back. It has taken my mom probably 15 years or more to straighten out her medical problem, so I am hoping with her having done some of the leg work I can be ahead in this game. As for our families future, I am not sure. I know with the extra weight it is just far to risky for me to get pregnant and I am just not willing to risk my life, Jayna's mom, and Ryan's wife for another baby as much as I would like to have one sooner rather than later. Even with the pregnancy risks aside I physically do not think I could care for two children the way I would want to with the low energy and pain I am constantly in. I have lots of hope though, so if my plans of the perfect family timeline have to be put on hold and it turns out different then I thought it would be, then so be it. I feel very grateful for what I have. It was no easy task getting Jayna to our family, and now after I have learned more about this disease it is even more amazing that she is here, and that we got to the wonderful and inspired Midwife that we did. Heavenly Father did not let these problems interfere with our desires to bring a child into our family, and I know that if I am smart about things and do everything I can he will not let it interfere with that in the future. I know that the hereafter is going to be an amazing experience, but I am convinced that nothing will compare to the experiences that we all have here on this earth with are physical bodies. There are things we can feel and experience in this life both painful and joyful that I think will just not be comparable to anything else.

If you want to read more about Hashimoto's and other thyroid problems this is a great website that was created by someone who has gone through basically what I am going through. It will just blow your mind that there are so many people out there suffering just like I am and cannot get proper care from their doctors. Stop the Thyroid Madness